


At any cost

by Eleanor266Rigby



Series: What families do [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Belting, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Consensual spanking, Corporal Punishment, Domestic Discipline, Episode: s12e10 Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets, Gen, M/M, Post-Episode: s12e09 First Blood, Pre-Slash, Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 12:55:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28510755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eleanor266Rigby/pseuds/Eleanor266Rigby
Summary: After killing Billie to free the Winchesters from their pact, Castiel needs to show Dean that he is willing to accept any consequences to keep him safe.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel & Sam Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: What families do [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2087271
Comments: 3
Kudos: 8





	At any cost

**Author's Note:**

> It contains consensual corporal punishment / spanking between a adult male and an angel. 
> 
> The story is set between the 12x09 and 12x10 episodes, after Castiel kills Billie and during the search for Benjamin.  
> It happens within the context of the first story of this series, but it can work independently. Also, it can be read as destiel or pre-slash, if you wish. We all know that Cas is madly in love with Dean. I have in mind to write more of these one-shots with different pairings and scenarios, so I will keep an eye on your prompts. 
> 
> This is a translation of my original story. English is not my first language, so be nice please. I will gladly receive your comments and corrections. 
> 
> Enjoy, be safe and happy new year!

A tense atmosphere is breathed inside the car. Only a few words are spoken on the long way back to the bunker. Castiel wants to feel relieved to find the Winchester brothers and save them and their mother from that absurd deal with Billie, but the anger he senses from Dean fills him with bewilderment.

He feels absolutely certain that he has made the right decision. The Winchesters are now together and safe, and that’s all that matters. There will come a time when he will have to deal with the consequences of killing Death himself, and that time isn’t now. He knows that there will no doubt be arguments as soon as they arrive in the bunker, but he would accept that and a thousand other things just to keep his family safe.

After hours of silent travel, the four of them are now walking down the stairs to the main room of the bunker. Mary mentions something about the urgent need for her children to take a deep bath and asks Castiel to accompany her to the kitchen.

“I don’t want to imagine what they’ve been feeding themselves,” Mary mutters as she stirs pots and plates, “help me prepare dinner. Don’t make that face, I’ll tell you what to do.”

He listens to Mary babble instructions. Castiel can feel her uneasiness.

“Dean will want a pie,” Mary says as she fills his arms with pots and cans, “I always baked him a pie when he got hurt. I can’t say the same for Sam, but I know he loves salads.”

“Mary,” he tries to get her attention.

“Although I don’t know what kind of salad can make for him,” Mary continues, “if all we have here is fried food, frozen food and beer.”

“Mary, listen to me.”

“Maybe I’ll just make sandwiches, or maybe”

Castiel puts aside the pile of pots he now holds in his arms and puts a hand on Mary’s shoulder, interrupting his peroration.

“They’re fine, Mary,” he says, looking at her deeply, “we brought them home.”

He sees Mary shaking before nodding repeatedly.

“We brought them home,” she repeats, as she examines his face for several seconds before speaking. “You saved us, Cas. What you did... I still have no idea what that might mean later, but right now it means we’re alive.”

“That’s all that matters,” he says, but then he puts his face down, “but Dean”

“Give him time,” Mary replied. “Dean has had a terrible temper since before he learned to speak, but he’s grateful to you, believe me.”

Castiel smiles sideways, not entirely convinced.

* * *

They have a simple dinner. Castiel watches behind the beer he agreed to drink while the Winchesters eat in silence. The tension is almost as great as it was during the trip, talking exclusively about the quality of the food and the lack of supplies. During the 34 minutes that Castiel calculates it takes them to eat, Dean doesn’t look at him once, and when he finishes the pie, he hears him mutter a “good night” and leaves with nothing more to say.

Castiel stands up and catches up with him in the hallway.

“Dean, wait.”

“Not now, Cas,” he grunts without even turning around.

Castiel sees him disappear in silence. He hears Sam walking behind him.

“Leave him, Cas,” the youngest of the Winchesters tells him, “he’s tired and irritated now. We’ll talk tomorrow, okay?”

Castiel sighs and returns to the kitchen to help clear the table and wash the dishes. Sam and Mary retire soon after to their rooms, and he decides to spend the night in the library, waiting with little excitement for the new day. After so many lonely weeks full of anguish and on the verge of despair, he finally has the Winchesters home, but he can’t help but think that he hasn’t managed to get Dean back.

He spends long hours involved in investigating Kelly Kline’s whereabouts. He looks up from the newspaper clippings on his desk when he hears Mary and Sam come in. They inform him that they will be going to stock up on supplies and that it will take a couple of hours, so he’s left alone with Dean.

He doesn’t have to go look for him, because he shows up at the library shortly thereafter.

“You stayed here all night?” asks Dean, looking at him coolly.

“I’m investigating,” he answers with a frown.

“And what are you investigating? Something interesting? Something about what we’re gonna do now that you’ve thought of killing Billie?”

Castiel sighs when he understands where this is going.

“Dean...”

“What the hell were you thinking, Cas? Do you have any idea what you did?”

“Yes, I saved your lives,” he answers resolutely. “I’ve explained myself enough, what else do you expect me to say? I don’t regret my decision; it was the right thing to do. Yours, on the other hand, was a completely stupid decision.”

“You know we wouldn’t have gotten out of that place alive!” says Dean, slapping the table, “we had a chance to save at least one of us without rotting in that damn place.”

“We’d have found a way to rescue both of you, Dean,” replays Castiel, beginning to feel the rage bubbling up inside.

“And how long did we have to wait? Months, years, until you came up with one of your brilliant plans? You know that wasn’t an option!”

Castiel looks at him exhausted.

“What are you getting at, Dean? Nothing is gonna change my decision or my conviction. You want me to say I’m sorry I saved your lives? You know I won’t.” Castiel stands up and speaks with a mixture of anger and disappointment: “You should be grateful.”

Dean looks at him in disbelief and laughs humorlessly.

“Thankful, Cas? Billie warned us that there would be cosmic consequences if the deal was broken! Do you realize that you pissed off Death itself? Do you think you’ll get out of this alive? That the universe will be spared?”

“I’ll deal with the consequences. I’m done with this discussion.”

He ignores Dean as he walks away from the library, determined to continue his research as far away from the hunter as possible. He sulks in an archive trying to ignore the bitterness he feels. Why can’t Dean just be pleased for once in his life? Why can’t he appreciate what it does for him?

For the next few days, they barely cross words with cold heartiness. The matter only comes up again when the brothers accompany him to investigate his friend Benjamin’s call for help.

Castiel is outside the motel room they have chosen to spend the night, as there are still several miles to go before they reach the place where they must look for the angel. They have argued again in the car, because now it seems that Dean can’t be even five seconds near him without throwing up his hands. Castiel is determined to spend the night lying on the rickety wall outside the room when he hears Sam come out.

“Hey, Cas,” he says politely, “how’s it all going?

“That’s an inaccurate question,” he mutters roughly.

He hears Sam sigh.

“Seriously, Cas, would you mind trying to work things out with Dean? Man, this marriage crisis environment is getting annoying.”

“Dean is acting like an idiot.”

“I know, Cas, but... it’s Dean,” Sam says in a conciliatory tone. “He’s worried, and you’re not showing your best attitude.”

Castiel looks at him with annoyance.

“Dean is being unfair, you know that.”

“I understand you, I really do,” agrees Sam, “but you have to admit that you’re a little guilty, Cas. What you did...”

“I saved your-”

“Yes, Cas, you saved us, we’re both grateful.”

“But Dean...”

“He doesn’t blame you for saving our lives, how can you think otherwise? He’s angry at the ease with which you accept the consequences that may come.”

Castiel laughs humorlessly.

“He only cares that I drag him into another problem.”

He sees Sam frowning hard.

“Stop, Cas. Don’t twist things. Do you really think that’s what he’s worried about? What we’re both worried about?”

Castiel shrugs his shoulders.

“That’s what always bothers you two, that my actions get you into trouble.”

“Now you’re being unfair and arrogant,” says Sam. “You take too lightly what might happen by killing Billie. It may be your own life and the lives of many others that are in danger, but that doesn’t matter to you, does it?”

“The Winchesters are crucial to the universe right now, all three of you needed to be saved,” he tries to explain, even though he knows he lacks conviction.

“To the universe? Or to you?”

Castiel clenches his jaw and says nothing.

“My point is,” continues Sam, “you have to recognize that you made a selfish decision, Cas. You did it because it was what you wanted, not what the world needed. We really appreciate you saving our lives, but you always put us above you and the whole universe.”

“You’re my family,” he explains trying to ignore the knot that has formed in his throat. How can they expect him not to put his family above everything?

“Of course we are, Cas,” agrees Sam, putting one arm around his shoulders, “but you know that in this life we have to think about the common good. The world isn’t reduced to us.”

Castiel has nothing more to say. Deep down, he recognizes the truth behind Sam’s words. He has already heard it countless times. He has renounced to Heaven, to his grace, to armies, to power, to his own life, for only one person. Always it has been Dean and his family.

“I’ll go and talk to him,” finally Castiel offers. “I think I know what I have to do.”

Sam looks at him with understanding.

“I’ll leave you two alone for a while.”

Castiel nods and heads to the room. Dean only briefly looks up from his computer when he sees him enter.

“We need to talk,” Castiel says resolutely, standing in front of him.

“Something useful to add about your ‘thoughtful and appreciative’ friend?” asks Dean sarcastically with his eyes glued to the screen.

“No,” he answers, then says as confidently as he can muster, “I want you to punish me.”

That gets a glimpse of Dean.

“Did you say?

“Punish me, that’s what I said.”

Dean looks at him in confusion and then snorts.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Cas. Sam told you to come and tell me that crap?”

“Sam didn’t tell me anything. Or, well, he told me some things, and I think I got your point.”

Dean lies down on the chair and crosses his arms.

“Go ahead and explain.”

Castiel opens his mouth, but no words come out. What can he say, ‘I’m sorry for putting you above me and the universe,’ or ‘I made a rash decision because I only care about you more than any cosmic consequence?’

“I accept that my decision was rash,” he finally explains, “and that I only thought of my own selfish interests in keeping you safe, no matter what might happen.”

Dean maintains the same expression, not entirely satisfied.

“Okay. Go on.”

Castiel sighs before continuing.

“Dean. I insist that I don’t regret saving your lives. I could never regret that, and you know it, and if I could go back, I would make the same decision.”

“Then why do you want a punishment if you don’t even regret what you did?” asks Dean incredulously.

“Because I want to show you that I’m willing to face whatever consequences there are to keep you safe,” he says, looking at him in the eye, then realizing what he said and adding, “you and your family. But I also need to receive an immediate consequence of my actions for you to prove your point, and while I know that a spanking doesn’t compare to what Billie warned about, at least I’ll receive some of the pain that can come from a selfish action.”

He keeps quiet for a while. He waits for Dean to process his words, prays that he understands how the two of them need to prove their points. Then he speaks again with a voice:

“And above all, I want this tension between us to end.”

Dean weighs his words for a few seconds. He seems slightly surprised.

“Wow,” he snorts, “that’s... pretty deep, Cas, and you saved me basically a whole speech. But I don’t want you to get punished for the wrong reasons, don’t think I want to release the tension by hitting you or”

“No, Dean,” cuts Castiel, “I... never imagined that I would voluntarily ask for a punishment from you, the memory is still unpleasant, but it’s something I need. Something we both need.”

Dean nods and stands up but hesitates at that moment.

“Wait, this isn’t like before. Now you have your angel mojo, my belt won’t even tickle you.”

“I promise I’ll lessen my grace to fully feel all the sensations you inflict on this body.”

Dean looks pleased and brings his hands to his belt. Castiel moves uncomfortably on his feet and looks around the room. The furniture consists of two double beds, two night-tables, a desk and a couple of chairs.

“I think we can do it in bed,” Dean says. Castiel may notice that he’s uncomfortable now, too. “Just... bend over and put your hands on the bed. Wait, your clothes.”

Castiel stops. Of course. He forgot that part. Partially undressing in front of Dean for this punishment is more uncomfortable than he expected. He takes off his trench coat and then proceeds to pull down his pants. Dean doesn’t say anything about his underwear, so he leaves it on and folds up on the bed again. It’s more uncomfortable to do it here than on the bunker table because it’s not high enough to rest his head on his arms.

He listens to Dean take his belt and now Castiel has to kick himself mentally because he’s fully aware of the decision he just made. What the hell was he thinking when he asked him for-

The first blow falls on the center of his buttocks interrupting his thoughts and forcing him to take heavy air. He’s determined to take this punishment with the same resolution with which he requested it.

Dean wasn’t lying. Apparently Castiel’s diatribe has left him with nothing else to say, because in the room the only sound to be heard is that of the belt hitting his poorly dressed back. He takes a breath with patience and receives at least a dozen blows in complete silence.

“Cas,” Dean speaks.

Well, it looks like he still has something to say.

“Mhmm?” he grunts, just keeping his eyes and lips tight.

“I’m... proud that you made this decision.”

He doesn’t respond at all, but he notes with distaste that with only those words he begins to grow that recognized tightness in his chest that he knows will eventually break him. Dean doesn’t say anything else either before he continues to rain punches on his buttocks. He may notice that he’s being less harsh than the first time he was punished, but he certainly applies enough force that an uncomfortable and painful burn quickly forms in his back region.

His breathing begins to speed up and he should grab the sheets tightly and plant his feet firmly to avoid breaking the position.

“Cas,” Dean speaks again. He notices his voice tense and charged with emotion, “I am deeply grateful for everything you do for us. You’re such a Winchester, just look at you, you’re as stubborn as we’re, always upside down against danger just to save us.” Dean laughs a little. He doesn’t stop the lashes but finishes every next sentence with a whip on the back of his legs. “But your life is worth as much as ours. We’re not above you, buddy, nor above the universe. I know it’s hard for you to understand, hell, it’s taken me a lifetime to learn to see beyond the people I care about, but you know that has to stop, you understand? Many lives depend on it.”

“Yes, Dean,” he says simply in a tight voice.

His brief experience with this form of discipline has taught him that it’s not worth the effort to ignore pain. Instead, he savors it with the hope that Dean will understand his sacrifice, that his guilt will be washed away, and that the disdain that has flooded Dean’s eyes in recent days will disappear.

But the acceptance of punishment doesn’t make it any less unpleasant. The fire is reaching an almost unbearable limit. He can’t help but grunt and tries to drown out his screams. He doesn’t want the whole motel to know what’s going on if the sound of leather against skin hasn’t made things clear. He squirms when Dean imposes greater force to the strokes, dropping the belt with amazing precision several times in one place, just above his legs.

“Ahg, Dean!” he shouts, jumping on his feet. “Would you mind... Ow, you don’t have to be so-!”

“We’re almost done, buddy.”

He briefly loses control of his position, so he ends up resting his forearms on the bed, with his head resting on them in an attempt to drown out his screams. Tears are already streaming from his clenched eyes. He doesn’t want to beg, but he thinks that, if he chose to take the punishment, he might have some sort of say in when it should end.

“Dean, I think that’s enough! Come on, Dean! DEAN!”

Dean ignores him completely. Castiel starts twisting his hips away from the belt, so Dean wraps one arm around them. He has to fight his grace to keep him, not so involuntarily, from pushing Dean aside and healing his bottom and legs. Instead, his body responds by twisting as a human would do, and in his instinctive fight to get away from the pain, he ends up lying down on the left leg of the hunter, subdued by the hand that holds him in the back. He surrenders and remains totally loose, with his face buried in the sheets and drowning the sobs that manage to escape.

It’s incredible how a worldly human punishment can bring down him as never before all the pain he has experienced in his life. Perhaps it’s because Dean, his greatest weakness, is the one holding the belt that threatens to tear the skin from the backside of this vessel. But he must remember that it was him who requested his punishment; he must stand firm on the reasons that led him to assume this position.

The belt falls only a couple more times, and suddenly everything ends. It takes him a couple of seconds to completely regulate his breathing. He records his position and rolls off Dean’s leg until his torso is on the bed, his knees are off the ground and his head is buried in his arms. He feels Dean’s hand massaging his back. Despite the pain, he wants to prolong that caress forever.

When he finally gets his act together, he gets up a little and leans on his elbows and wipes his face before looking at Dean. He’s surprised to find his eyes flooded with tears.

“Dean, what-”

“Don’t say anything, just come here,” Dean asks with open arms. Castiel gets up, sits down not without effort next to him and embraces him, taking advantage of one of these strange moments when Dean decides to be at least a little physical. “I hate to do this to you, man.”

“I’m sorry,” he says with his face buried in his neck. “Are we okay now? Please, I don’t want to fight with you anymore. “

“We’re fine, Cas,” Castiel sighs gratefully and then Dean breaks the hug. “Come on, I think we’ve had enough of this chick time. And pull up your pants, you pervert.”

Castiel snorts, hissing when the cloth makes contact with his back.

“I thought you’d be less hard on me,” he says with more confusion than suspicion, “but it was just as horrible as the first time.”

“A punishment is a punishment, pal, that you asked for it voluntarily only lessens the severity a little.”

Castiel shrinks with acceptance.

“I’ll keep my wounds for tonight,” he says with a grimace, “but tomorrow I must replenish my grace. I don’t know what we’re dealing with.

“I understand, Cas, in fact I appreciate you not trying to heal first, that’s very brave of you.”

Castiel shrugs his shoulders and lies in bed on his stomach.

“And don’t say ‘wounds’, man,” Dean complains, slapping his legs briefly, “I barely reddened your ass.”

“Dean!” he protests, turning around a bit and gesturing his bottom, “I am fully aware of every injury to this body. I register at least two more degrees of temperature in my rear end, contusions of varying severity and at least three abrasions. I estimate that it would take a human body at least a week to sit normally.”

“Well, you wanted a taste of the cosmic consequences, huh?”

Castiel ignores that attempt at a joke and turns on his pillow.

“I’ll rest with my eyes closed while Sam arrives,” he says with his head buried.

“Just call it ‘sleep’, Cas,” smiles Dean.

“Angels don’t sleep.”

“You also said you don’t get spanked and here we’re.”

“Shut up.”

Castiel hears him laugh before he closes his eyes. He can’t help but smile a little because he can finally say he got Dean back.

Against his own words, he falls into a deep, peaceful sleep.


End file.
